Late August update

It's been 11 days since my last entry so what's been happening?

In no particular order:

I am very proud (and about time) to hear that Matt has been promoted to the post of supervisor at BHS with further training to manager level and, ever more important maybe has been the increase to full time hours.

Work has been going well ... I hate to have to keep mentioning this but ... This is voluntary unpaid work.

Not been able to go in as often as I would have liked but often enough to have achieved all that I have been asked to do with efficiency which is the point I suppose. I have one large project due right now but I intend to allocate a couple of days to that as soon as I can. I also need to discuss their website with them to hopefully get something up and running.

Spent a great few hours with friends Sue & Fred who have two kids, Adam & Charlotte. All of them are amazing people and we hope to spend a lot more time with them in the future.

Discovered our friend Jan shall be 60 in October, no way!

One of our neighbours has got themselves two kittens. One of those is obsessed with trying to get in here and it is frankly getting really annoying.

The car still has air conditioning and the cruise control is making driving a lot more relaxing.

I have brought a temporary halt to the home movie making, I need a small break from that

Been spending quite some time on Sims 2 lately, probably too much time.

Hopefully got things sorted with 'The Coach House' so that they all understand what it is exactly they are supposed to do. Levels of service have slipped a little of late so needed to be placed back on track. Jermaine is doing quite well. Too many seizures still and I am so not happy how long it has been left to get that sorted but I am content that I've done all that I can reasonably do.

The weather this month has been depressingly British which means warm but useless for anything practical because of the ever present risk of rain.

Boy this blog entry is boring!

Thursday 14th August

I have slept a lot of today, I guess I must have needed it.

Indeed, didn't really do much at all except go into town and meet Matt & Anne.

My achievements for today, as I like to have some, would be about 3 new home movies and a catalogue of all the stuff I have captured right now. Quite looking forward to watching them on a full size TV. I edited a Disneyland Paris video from 1999 as well. This is odd as it is the only ever Disney video I have edited which didn't involve Christmas. This one was Halloween themed so made a change to source some new music for it. The 2000 holiday to Salou looks like it could be fun with the music choice.

Tomorrow I am going to catch up on some things at home and possibly go into work for a while.

Tomorrow the weather is forecast to be mainly sunny so I guess that means it'll be pissing down again.

My apologies to anyone who has had trouble finding the blog. I have been the victim of a little stalking. I only really write this for me but also considering that some others who know me in the real world may read it as well. It seems some internet contacts have been dropping in to shit stir as well, clearly they don't have anything better to do.

Been buzzing a little lately because I have been in an incredibly good mood on the whole.

Slander?

A person on an online forum asked recently if it is slander to post something such as my previous blog entry complete with picture of the other person?

To be honest, I am not sure what the law has to say on the matter but common sense to me would say that anything online is quite public unless it specifically says otherwise. The copied text is accurate and unedited so cannot be seen as slander because it speaks for itself. The reader makes his or her own judgement on the content. The picture may well be subject to copyright, that is questionable and quite possibly difficult to prove.

As the person in question made a point on the same forum of using information gleaned from this blog to use as a weapon against me I'd say it was certainly fair game. This is not something I'd do generally as can be seen from elsewhere on my blog. I figure that if a man wants to source his information from somewhere other than the forum he's posting to about an individual then he's going to have to accept that individual using the same source by way of a balance.

On a more interesting subject because this blog is, after all, my own publicly available but personal space ....

Work is amazing - just in case there is someone out there in interweb land who wants to cause trouble - even though I don't get paid it still feels thougroughly worthwhile. I am learning so much and also teaching a great deal as well. I am already feeling like part of a team.

There are a lot of exciting technology changes going on there and I look forward to working with them.

The weather is shit ... enough said.

My car is working really well, I have no idea seeing as a week or so ago it was dyeing. It's like it decided I wasn't going to fix it so gave up being stupid. I have now got cruise control working and so too the air conditioning, nice to have some air in there especially with not being able to drop the roof.

I have recently been editing years worth of home movies and loving it. I discovered yesterday that I had footage of the day Daisy was born actually in the labour ward. I didn't record the birth as I kept that as a special moment which happens only once but moments before and after are captured actively shutting Daisy up for moaning there are very few baby pictures of her! There is one more Disney movie to create from 1999 I think and then I can start going through each captured video and extracting events from it. My plan is to drop quite a lot of stuff just into a yearly movie scrap book and play around with the editing to create some montage and other interest methods for compressing the information in as short a time as possible. I hate that any home movie is more than 15 minutes.

Back to work on Friday. Tomorrow I think I am meeting up with Matt & Anne which will no doubt cost me! I don't much mind though.

Judge for yourself ....

Naming and shaming is the point of this post.

This is the Cambridge University music graduate who believes, in my opinion of what he is saying, that we bring homophobia upon ourselves: He uses the user name 'yesihavelegs' on www.kagoul.com . He is 31 years old and describes himself as 'bisexual'. He describes himself as: "Volatile and usually pissed off Cambridge University music graduate with bad taste but worse than that, I'm posh, lacking in tact and generally awkward. " and goes on to say: "Reading this you may feel you won't/don't like me but I can't help it if you've got no stamina, or you're an idiot. I like everyone, apart from those who make me want to cover them with vomit. "

This is the thread in question so you may judge for yourself whether this guy is making an attack on me or sticking to the subject matter:

dizzyqueen Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 00:36, Saturday August 09 2008

A quick search for 'batty boy' brings up quite a selection on Youtube, many are from the UK.

If ever some of the younger guys need to be shown why some of the older guys still campaign for equality and that we don't yet have it, go take a look.

There is some blatant homophobia going on there. The sort of thing that were it any other minority group would not be tolerated.

yesihavelegs Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 13:12, Saturday August 09 2008

If you don't want to see it, don't search for it.

"Ooh, let's see if there's any batty boy videos on youtube. That'll be fun".

No, it won't.

dizzyqueen Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 16:04, Saturday August 09 2008

yesihavelegs: If you don't want to see it, don't search for it.

Rather than treat me like an idiot with that comment consider the reason why I searched for it. Assumption and comments like that cause bad feeling between people.

A few weeks ago I was collecting my daughter from secondary school, she's 15. In the school car park a group of year 9 lads (about 14 years old) started hurling homophobic abuse. I'd heard the term 'batty boy' before but never really examined where it came from and how widely it was used. That's why I searched youtube.

I don't make the habit of randomly looking for homophobia.

yesihavelegs Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 16:59, Saturday August 09 2008

You didn't mention that. Can I treat you like an idiot now?

yesihavelegs Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 17:09, Saturday August 09 2008

And as we're on the subject and I'm sorry to go back to old material... ...you are clearly an openly gay man, with kids. You went on national television to spout forth about it, you owned the most ostentatious American car and you appear to live in areas where this sort of abuse is commonplace? As I said, if you don't want to view it, don't search for it but surely, the most importantant issues are on your doorstep, literally, not on your computer screen. I can see what you're saying but personally, I think you've got your priorities wrong.

yesihavelegs Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 17:12, Saturday August 09 2008

AND you're thinking about yourself as opposed to your kids.

dizzyqueen Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 19:55, Saturday August 09 2008

yesihavelegs ... what are you suggesting? It could be any number of things but it seems to me the general thrust of what you are saying is that I should keep a very low profile, pretend I am straight?

At the time this incident occurred I was driving a rather common French car. I had not been on TV in 8 years so those boys would have been 6 when it was on. I do not fly the rainbow flag above my house or have rainbow stickers on my car.

I am openly gay which, when I last checked, was not a crime. I have a boyfriend, we've been together 2 years, also not a crime.

It seems to me, when you are not openly insulting me by calling me an idiot (shame on you) you are telling me how to live my life ignoring the fact that it is the homophobic people amongst us who are in the wrong, not us for being gay. This is not the first time I have heard from another gay man that I have brought the homophobia upon myself and that attitude sickens me and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting it.

Any utter bastard who says I do not look after my kids well and keep them safe needs sorting out mentally. No one who knows me would ever think it, the reality is just the opposite.

Perhaps yesihavelegs (but little common sense) you should consider that not everyone lives in your fortunate little world and that you could just maybe engage brain before writing stuff on here or, if you are incapable of thinking beyond your limited knowledge of the world, you could ask someone who has lived a little before showing yourself up as a complete an utter arsehole of a person.

I raised a perfectly valid point about homophobia n this country and you turned it around as a personal attack against me. If ever we needed an example of why this site doesn't work we need look no further than the example you have shown on this thread.

yesihavelegs Subject: 'Batty Boy' on Youtube Posted: 20:01, Saturday August 09 2008

You don't get my point, do you.

I'm not personally attacking you, that's the point. I'm expressing what I THINK and not not know, of your circumstances.

I can't help it if you lay all your cards on the table and expect people to say "Aw, poor chap".

If you don't want people's opinions, don't ask for them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, there you have it, I shall let you be the judge of who said what and what it meant!

Damn Bugs

I had been looking forward to going to a friends BBQ all week yet I woke up today feeling dreadful. It has to be a bug of some kind and it may well be gone by tomorrow but it has totally screwed up my plans for today. On the plus side, the kids were able to go as it is only a short walk away.

Last night I showed Nick a youtube video of how much homophobia still exists and is acceptable within the UK right now. It was a follow on from the incident at Daisy's school when they gang of lads started hurling homophobic abuse at me.One of the phrases they used was 'batty boy' which I had heard before, several years before when we had the troubles at the other place but didn't fully understand why it was so common in the UK or if indeed it was commonly used. Looking at youtube showed me that it is positively sanctioned in the UK and a totally acceptable term to use and not even just by black people either from where the use originated.

Still feeling incenced by the youtube thing I posted a thread about it on Kagoul.com hoping that someone there may pick it up and also make a complait against youtube for their promotion of homophobia in this country. On the contrary, one absolute idiot on there took the opportunity not to attack the homophobic attitude but me for being openly gay and a parent. He said I was a complete idiot for being gay and having kids and that I should keep a very low profile, in short, pretend to be straight.

What a total tosser that guy is! This has been only the second time in my life a gay man has said bluntly to me that homophobic attacks against me are somehow my own doing. How short sighted and ignorant that attitude is. Only gay men could reach this conclusion and it is because they can that we still have so many problems. What if the country took the attitude that black people brought racism upon themselves and should keep a low profile? It's a crazy notion that we should have to accept prejudice as normal and minority groups are to blame for their own problems. I so hope that the person in question on that website very soon becomes the victim of homophobia in the most graphic way and then, I trust, he will look at himself and his lifestyle 'choice' and make no attempt to blame the guys who attack him but instead go back in the closet and lead a very quiet existance for the rest of his life ... what a totally stupid attitude to take.

On a less serious note ... the weather is absolute shit like we are already easing into winter. I find it very difficult to plan ahead when something as simple as rain can ruin those plans.

Back work on Monday, I so hope this bug has gone by then, I enjoy it too much to stay at home.

Boy it's Hot ....

Somewhere other than here!

Rain and more rain and summer rapidly running out.

Now, what news do I have for the world?

I started work yesterday (voluntary) and achieved a lot on my first day which made me feel really great. Today I only needed to do a little training with them over the phone ... that's me training them, not the other way around. It's amazing me just how excited I am feeling about it. I like 'working' as it makes me feel as though I am giving something back to the community for the benefits I receive. I know I still need them and deserve them but even so, it still isn't widely accepted that benefits are essential for some people. Even better, all the experience is going to look really good on my CV when I eventually start looking for paid work and, if I am real lucky, I may actually fall into a job whilst volunteering.

The car, yes, the car. Apart from the air condition problem in relation to which I have struck a deal with the garage to get cruise control fitted at the same time combining the labour cost, I now have another issue with the damn thing. It cuts out soon after it starts. When driving it shudders and occasionally, on starting, it sounds like a bucket of spanners is being chucked about under the bonnet. If it is what I suspect it is then I'll unlikely see much change out of £600. The AC and cruise is going to cost the best part of £800. In just two months of ownership I have already lost £1200 on the value of the car and will be saving to repay my overdraft for months just when I was getting painfully close to the nice colour in my bank balance. On top of that my fuel bill is almost certain to go sky high so way more money going out than I can comfortably afford.

On the plus side ... it was Deej's birthday on Sunday and I put together a surprise party for him. Robin and Julie did the food and I madly went around cleaning the house trying to make it look normal to do so on a Sunday. Loads of people turned up for Deej and that made me really happy as not one person from his time before know me turned up despite being invited, not even a card from any of them. But, that aside, it was a great day and I got a little too pissed for which I have been paying ever since :-(

Several good things to look forward to later this month despite the crap weather!