The Travelog

Gran Canaria January 2007

This is my 5^th visit to the Spanish homosexual haven of Gran Canaria. An island created from the results of volcanic activity thousands of years ago in a chain of islands known as the ‘Canaries’ which still has at least one semi active volcano and another, Mount Teide on Tenerife being dormant. The volcanic history of the islands makes for an interesting landscape with vast moonscapes and a mix of lush sub tropical vegetation.

Gran Canaria boasts the dunes to the south which have been formed by sand from the Sahara desert no less being blown westward. It holds what are for me some mysteries but which are probably, for the locals, known about facts and totally uninteresting. One of these being an apparent road system beneath the sand which can be clearly seen from space and, very occasionally, whilst walking across the dunes. These may be natural ducts or ancient roads to who knows where.

The climate is mild year round and rarely extremes of anything. Winters are typically around 21 and summers up to 35, in short, quite a pleasant place to be should the cold not be your cup of tea.

For such a small island the temperature on it can also be quite different which depends greatly upon location. The south can be as much as 10 degrees warmer than the north with the mountains controlling that aspect by protected the south from the cold winds. Even some resorts, protected as they are by high cliffs on either side can be warmer still.

With me living in Northampton and my being expected to present myself at Gatwick by 09:30 on a Monday morning I opted to stay overnight at a reasonably priced bed and breakfast establishment in Horley, just a few miles from the airport.

It is run solely by a woman named Fiona who has several dogs which are generally well behaved but prone to occasional outbursts of barking which can be a little annoying at times but not as much as Fiona herself who seems to make a hell of a noise whilst cleaning the nearby rooms of which there are only 6. She really needs to consider that doors can be shut quietly and do not have to be left to slam of their own accord. Though this was early in the evening it was still somewhat off putting when one is attempted to use the facilities!

Fiona at Rosemead, for some reason I just cannot get along with her, she seems quite often distant and difficult to talk to and I talk to most people just fine. She’s like a lesbian, more tolerant than friendly, polite but not social except if one engages in conversation about the dogs, a subject clearly close to her heart … I suspect the lady needs to get out more.

After a sumptuous breakfast of cereal and full cooked English it was time to set off for the airport and by 8:20 my taxi was already awaiting me outside. With a surprisingly quick run on reasonably clear roads, strange for the rush hour I was within the terminal very quickly, indeed, only 10 minutes after leaving the bed and breakfast.

The queue for check-in was very small, just me, some ageing hippies and more homos, a very pleasant change from the enormous queues I have been in previously. I asked for and got a window seat, always on the right of the aircraft for some reason though I never stipulate either. My luggage was well under the allowed weight, something which is always a moment of anguish for me with things being put in the case, taken out again, exchanged for lighter alternatives all in an effort to allow me some room on my return journey for some choice items. Once checked in it was a simple matter of a short walk over to security to get ‘air side’ and I could relax in the departure lounge.

The queue for security was a fair size though, estimate of around 30 minutes.

They have the ‘no liquids’ rule in place whereby they don’t allow anything through above 100ml … ironic then that there is a drinks machine in the queue area selling 500ml drinks!

The woman in front of me who sounded American but I can’t be sure was a problem. She was a Ryanair priority boarder with her £23 ticket and considered this made her immune from the rules everyone else was following. She had 2 items of hand luggage which she finally accepted she’d have to amalgamate into one. Then there were the perfumes and toothpaste she insisted were essential items of hand luggage for her flight which she did not want to place in the secure bags provided. Turns out, when we get to the 1^st security desk that she had not been to Ryanair at all to get her boarding pass and only had 15 minutes to board her flight … silly and cow come to mind.

Despite the apparent long wait to get through this part of the process I was soon running way too early as I allowed extra time for the check-in delays which didn’t happen. Do I have another coffee and risk having to pee all through the flight or just chill out around the shops … I shall get back to you on that one … Oh, almost forgot, I got frisked today, very cute he was too. I also noticed that people are basically just sheep. One bloke took his shoes off so all the people behind him followed suit and for no reason except that he had so perhaps they had to… this spread rapidly to other queues and before long most were removing shoes! It was really quite amusing but I am more than pleased this happened early in the day before the feet had a chance to really sweat! I guess it doesn’t help that the notice boards around the area of security are vague and have different boards for different things as they have been added over time. It would be really helpful if they just made it very clear to people exactly what was expected of them. Laptops for example … they only had it on one quite small sign that these needed to be removed from hand luggage for separate inspection. Not an issue for seasoned travellers like me but others around me were guided more by my actions than they were from these hard to find signs. I noticed with relief in her voice a young student type behind me say that she was right when she expected she’s need to remove her laptop, again, this is the sheep mentality, I could have just done it to wind people up, but it also shows more of the shortcomings of security than anything else, they need to keep the public informed.

Through security and on to air side and time to relax, chill for a while and wait for the call to the gate where ever that may end up being.

Gatwick has quite good facilities and adequate for most waits which is seldom more than an hour or so but much beyond this and the place would become very tiresome. Many of the high street stores are represented here and whilst they advertised no tax on their prices they are, in fact, generally more than one would expect to pay outside of the airport because of the overly excessive profit margin attached to the goods on the shelves. One item I had looked at before I left home I had priced at £27 yet at Dixons in the airport the same things was £36! The level of profit on that must be huge when we consider that 17.5% has been removed from the base price.

Not sure who was worse, the guy for trying to sleep there or the kids that were running around like idiots all over the benches surrounding the play area or, maybe their parents who didn’t seem to be about … no, my mistake, mummy is about, single mummy who clearly has little interest in what her daughters are doing.

The smell from the smoking zone permeates throughout the lounge in departures making it really unpleasant. I wonder if in July when the ban on smoking in public places is introduced, airports will be obliged to follow the law or whether there will be an opt out clause somewhere?

I am not really very close to the play area yet nearly had my laptop knocked off my lap by out of control kids … heaven help the folk in resort where these people are going!

In need of the loo, probably because of the 3 cups of tea I had at the guest house. By some strange quirk of luck I bashed into someone I knew at the loo, Jim Darby. By an even stranger quirk, turns out he’s staying at the same place as me at the same time. He is also hoping for someone to eat with which is like so cool! The problem with travelling alone is eating alone. Many places seem to see the lone diner as second class, after all, they take up as much room as at least two people yet are almost certain not to make them as much money and probably, and this could just be me, sit there reading a book and nursing a coffee for ages preventing new guests from indulging in the culinary delights of the establishment.

Probably worth mentioning I am looking at a lot of virgins and I don’t mean the mad kids either. No, it’s those red and white planes from Virgin airlines which always manage to look better than any other on the airfield. Rarely have I seen an aircraft operated by that company look sub standard, always they are pristine.

On time the flight was announced to be departing from gate 33 which is some 20 minute granny steps away, for the rest of us it is no more than 10 minutes walk. The gates at Gatwick are better than I remember they used to be. I recall not having any facilities there just rows of seats with the nearest toilets always a very long walk away encourage people to hold on longer than perhaps they should and then having to go just as their boarding is announced! These days we have small coffee bars and toilets nearby. Amazingly, and here I am on my high horse again, but amazingly they allow smoking quite openly throughout the coffee bar with no apparent distinction between smoking and non smoking areas.

We boarded on time which always has to be a good sign and there were no difficulties that were going to delay as. There was a couple who had decided that despite their ticket numbers clearly being toward the back of the plane they wanted the front seats with extra leg room. This was quickly sorted out by an attendant who was polite but insistent that seat allocation was final and that she was not about to swap customers around on a full to capacity aircraft, well done her.

Followed Delta for a while then a BA nipped in first just because he required a shorter runway.

The flight was OK, watched ‘Click’ with Adam Sandler and it was really very good in a bad copy of ‘It’s a wonderful life’ kind of way. I believe I may have fallen asleep for a while after the movie as it seemed shorter than normal and that’d be a first for me to doze on a plane! Landing was good though the zigzag approach taken into Las Palmas airport was ‘interesting’. It seemed like the pilot had veered off to far west on his approach to the island so had to fly a fair way east to compensate before heading south and then a complete about turn for final approach.

Compared to my stay in Ibiza late last year the baggage handling at the airport here was excellent with few having to wait long for there suit cases to arrive and none seemed to have been damaged. There was no passport control, indeed, only once during my journey had I been asked for my passport and that was at the boarding gate back in Gatwick, more a measure to ensure my ticket was valid than any sort of nationality check. Our man from Respect Holidays, Raymond was awaiting us land side and directed us to the transport which would take us to resort some 20 minutes to the south.

No one on this Respect week is staying anywhere other than the Almendros Apartments which meant a much easier check-in … even better that Jim was around because his case just about fell out the coach when it was opened and mine was second from last off. I was cheeky and just joined him at the front of the queue, bad of me or what!

The acquisition of the Los Almendros Apartments by Respect Holidays a few years back was inspired. Formerly a complex of 36 bungalows for general use by the straight community they were swiftly converted to the requirements of the gay community. This involved replacing the child swimming pool with a huge Jacuzzi, removing the play are and placing a gym in its place. Finally a bar and restaurant were added and one final touch, and iron and ironing board in each bungalow, instant homosexual heaven! The only drawback of the place is the location and we all know how important location is to any property. This one is at least 10-15 minutes walk away from the centre of this gay resort, the Yumbo (often pronounced ‘Jumbo’) Centre. This does not seem to unduly bother the Almendros guests many of whom simply avail themselves the use of the taxis which wait outside.

I did find myself for a while altering my plans to fit in with the inclusion of Jim then slapped myself and reminded me that the point of this was to just look after me and what I want, not worry about someone else. It’d be nice to spend some time with Jim chatting but it’s not essential.

Oh, I seem to have a cold which is just so damned annoying!

Most of today it’s been like I have been on autopilot. Every now and then I’d take notice of something and go wow, I am on an airplane or wow, this is Los Almendros, wow … etc. I got to Pub Nestor and it was just weird, it was like visiting a museum and seeing something famous yet not being very enthusiastic about it, ah yes, there’s Pub Nestor, I should clarify … Pub Nestor is probably the most prominent vanilla gay bar in Playa Del Ingles. ‘by Vanilla’ I mean that sex is not really an issue there, it’s not the primary reason for going which is solely to have a drink. They do have competition nights twice a week known as ‘Open the Box’. Standard stuff, behind each box is a prize ranging from totally crap to the current top money prize which is around €600 at best. The drag queen host seems to change frequently and is either excellent or rude and horrible, seldom much in between. There are two lads, always (or nearly always) cute who have to be stripped to their pants (if they wear any) by a member of the audience chosen by the drag queen for maximum humiliation potential. It is actually just a cheap giggle with minimal outlay gaining maximum revenue for the place by virtue of the crowd it attracts in the hope of seeing cock.

As it happens, on this occasion, there was nobody familiar there, certainly not Gary and he’s the only one there who is really sociable. Had to eat at Miramar, an upstairs cheap looking outside venue because Silos, a quality inside restaurant was closed along with Merlin’s, another such place, on Monday … might just be a good restaurant guide, if they are closed on Monday they are worth visiting! Speaking of the Miramar, I like my steak rare but I think had I been there just a moment earlier I could have milked it, it was that raw. It was barely even warm just the outside slightly brown with the inside as it was on the cow, more blue than pink and it was a little much for me so I left a third of it, not that I was very hungry anyway and the service there this evening was appalling.

Maybe this is just typical of the Yumbo, it’s all very hit or miss there and lacks consistency. Let me explain … The Yumbo has two facets, the straight daytime shopping centre where a holidaymaker goes to buy their mainly tacky gifts courtesy of cheap labour in China and the night time almost exclusively gay venue full of gay bars varying from vanilla to outright sleaze and beyond. As mentioned before there is Pub Nestor and, I forgot to mention, whilst it is owned by Holgar, a German, it is predominantly an English bar. There are several others along similar lines on that side of the lower level which are either German or Dutch. Around the other side it becomes heavier both is sexual preference and also, quite literally by weight as we enter the arena of the bears and leather brigade. Further still, on the opposing side to Nestor’s we have extremes. Drag bars which prefer to call themselves ‘Variety Bars’ and sex bars with their dark rooms, harness and sticky patches on the floors, clothes in the latter of those two are most definitely optional. The variety bars appeal mainly to the straight audience believing this is what being gay is all about; dressing up as women, total rubbish but it keeps them away from the reality I guess which is that they have probably been surrounded by gay men for days without realising it.

The architecture, and I am loathed to refer to it as such, is generally a mix of concrete blocks pieced together to form a centre of tack and sleaze from a hole in the ground the size of a few football pitches. This building is never going to win design awards. It’s functional and never pretends to be anything else.

Today, being my first full day here and with a streaming cold was my chosen day to go for a stroll, just to get out a bit and see stuff. It has to be said that not only do I sometimes need to say no to others I also need to say no to me because that was one crazy mother of an idea!

The theory was sound … walk down to the main stretch of Playa Del Ingles and then head along the surf into Maspalomas some three miles away, do Faro 1 & 2 (shopping centres) and then head back for lunch. The plan was bound to work and as I turned out of my accommodation instead of heading for the surf I thought heading directly across the dunes would be a cool idea. If I ever suggest this to anyone again, can they please talk me out of it! It was one hell of a long slog up and down mountainous sand heaps feeling like I was getting nowhere fast (and indeed I was). My back was killing me, everything hurt and I had barely started. Not one to give up easily I meandered on and soon entered the shaded territory of the lecherous huge naked German men … Come on guys, share the sun, there is enough or it for all of us! Thankfully I managed to out walk that lot and I owe them some thanks as they served a useful distraction from my other discomforts.

The surf was up and it was very amusing watching fully dressed people not using their brains and walking on the wet sand and getting caught by the occasional huge wave soaking them through. Not that I laugh at the misfortune of others of course, that’s not my think at all … yeah, right.

Eventually Maspalomas loomed and I was in Faro one before I knew it taking photo’s of the giant shit they have there. On I went now deciding that the rather attractive little port area I saw on Google Earth wasn’t that far away and headed off there … I can be so thick at times! Take a look at the map on Google Earth … find the lighthouse and then keep going round to the left until you find the little harbour. Yes, I really am that insane!

Having got there which was a good feeling of achievement, I have to concede the place was fairly crap really. I was thinking crystal clear waters, loads of fish and amazing atmosphere from harbour side cafés but, the reality was much different. It was a nice harbour but the waters were cloudy. There were some lovely yachts there from all over the place including a few from the UK. Not up to Monaco standard but then, if they were they’d be in Monaco or St Tropez not some anonymous little port nowhere on Gran Canaria! There were no cafés, no restaurants, nothing but a vending machine over by the diesel pumps. It seems that this whole place is there just for some reasonably well off people to moor up and stay in their nice houses (yes, some of those too) and maybe see a little of the island. In short, this ‘resort’ was not my scene at all.

From there and extremely knackered by this point, I headed for my final destination of Faro 2 when I finally conceded defeat and got a taxi. The place was open but all my enthusiasm has drained away, I just wanted to get back, get my sandals off … oh yes, did I mention I did all this in a pair of sandals? As an aside, this pineapple juice I am drinking tastes of washing up liquid!

Met up with Jim later in the evening and we had a chat. Neither of us had eaten a lot so decided to have a wander and see if anything inspired us. It really didn’t though Jim did have some pizza to take away from a place just across the road. This is the problem with having a cold, I can’t really taste much (except for washing up liquid apparently) so I am actually thinking about whether or not I am hungry rather than how nice something smells and eating it. We came back to the complex and Jim shared some of his honey rum, I thought I’d take him up on that offer as I seldom seem to get any when we have some at home. We chatted about his dive earlier on that day and looked through his pictures which were really rather good though, I have to admit I was not that aware of the shark population having around the coast. One topic we got back to often was teenagers and how to bring them up. Jim has taken in a fair brood of strays locally all around 18 and has all the same difficulties as most parents even though he’s never been a biological parent himself. I’d say he’s got a very good instinct for it, maybe a little too soft but that’s a minor thing, none of his kids seem to be taking the piss out of him so he must be doing something right.

One thing we did certainly both agree on is the need for a kid to, when they are ready, move out and live for themselves. I am finding this with Matt, my nearly 19 year old. He really doesn’t want to take my advice anymore, he finds it all too intrusive and possibly he needs to make more of his own mistakes without the safety net to move on and he really can’t do that at home because it’s my job to keep him safe, to try and make sure he doesn’t take a fall too hard, try and stop huge mistakes happening. The reasons for that are complex but I guess can be summed up in two points. The first is my parental need to protect my kids, do what is best for them and the other is a selfish need to go for damage limitation. Far better to prevent a crisis than it is to clear one up.

Jim left at some time after midnight I think, I don’t know because I don’t really do the time whilst I am holiday but I recall him saying it was somewhere near midnight anyway.

I slept really well, right up to 11 and just cleared the bathroom in time for the cleaners to come in. I so planned to do nothing today but as the cleaners were just outside with their cleaning buggies I didn’t want to have breakfast in the apartment or on the patio because it was just so busy. Instead I braved the throng of pensioners and headed for the Yumbo for breakfast. I could taste the bacon, that was OK but everything else was tasteless thanks to this cold, the coffee felt nice. The blister on my foot is causing me mega grief, kept sticking to my shoe. Most of my joints are aching like hell as well but then, after the stupidity of yesterday, this is hardly a shock.

Guys outside are being sociable and I am not sure I am in the mood for small talk. I have two things on my mind to do right now … read a book or go to bed, the latter seems quite appealing. Seems like a waste to be in a lovely place but to go to bed but then, I feel guilty for going to bed during the day every time when I am at home and this week, for one week only ladies and gentleman, I am not feeling guilty about anything so if I want to sleep, I just will. I think the guy in the apartment next door fancies me too which is awkward. Coincidentally, I was sitting next to him on the plane as well, quite freaky that! He could just be a nice guy being sociable of course but I am a little sensitive to guys chatting me up, I just don’t need it because I have a wonderfully handsome, funny, loving boyfriend waiting for me at home and I just don’t have the inclination to be messing with that in any way.

Restaurant Silos on Av Tirajana is just wonderful and it was impossible for me to feel as though I was eating alone there and why people walk past is beyond me, wake up and smell the coffee people, its brilliant!

Thursday already and finally I am resting, sunbathing, no less having secured one of the padded sun loungers for my own use not after my rise from bed at 9:30 this morning.

In a moment of what I can only think of as pregnant appetite I did myself croissants with cheese and honey and they were marvellous. I poured the washing up liquid flavoured pineapple juice away and had some grapefruit instead which tasted of grapefruit much to my drinking pleasure.

I picked up my Nigel Hawthorne autobiography which had been barely touched and proceeded to read. Feeling a little hungry decided to do myself some lunch, it was 3:10 and I was already two thirds of the way through the book! I guess this is probably a good read and it’s been a long time since any book has captured me quite so much.

I am finding that there is simply not enough on this island for a single guy to do beyond 3 or 4 days unless there is transport involved and, as I have committed to not renting a vehicle and don’t really do buses, I am kind of out of ideas as to how to spend my time. This is not proving too distressing as what it is also doing is making me rest a lot more than I usually do. Having nearly completed my book, eaten properly and been for a walk in today’s not particularly warm temperature and blustery winds, I can say that I have not really wasted my time. I grabbed a few hours sleep earlier too even though still, at 11:30pm I am feeling tired. This cold is still lingering in me, sometimes a runny nose, others a cough and just generally draining so, apologies for the lack of interesting stories but it just isn’t happening like that.

Guys around me were speaking for some time earlier about the comparative virtues or otherwise between Marks & Spencer, John Lewis and House of Fraser. Which of those offered the better deals, had better customer care, better after sales. All of this I find strange as I personally measure such shops by the quality of their café and whilst M&S do a wonderful hot chocolate and House of Fraser can be reasonably priced, John Lewis simply have the better choice, end of really. There, you see, not really any titbits to report that are in the slightest interesting. O the couple earlier he spending some 20 minutes plus attempting to explain to his female companion why it is that she cannot purchase bottle water outside the airport to take on the aircraft with her but that she could once she had cleared airport security. Her argument was constant and unrelenting that a bottle of water is a bottle of water, where she bought it was not important which sadly was actually missing the point that the matter was not open for debate in any way in which her male informant could control. Some things are just rules and, unless we have lots of time to spare on such matters, are simply not worth fighting against. Was Jim’s lodger Lauren right to be annoyed that her four other lodger types were out for in excess of four hours when they said they had only popped out to buy some weed? I think probably not but then again, a little courtesy on the part of the others would not have been a bad thing. Telling her they may actually not be back that evening could have been better than allowing her to not make her own plans on the basis that they were returning. But they are stoners and, she too is one and the like do not have a lot of consideration for others when their priority is the next joint or two and she should know that. Poor Jim does try to understand, support them and sympathise but the root here is that he’s dealing with kids who much of the time are not thinking with their own clear minds, they are doped up. He needs to remove the drugs before he can get them thinking with true responsibility and not just acting it. Thankfully and I hope it remains so, this is not an issue I have had to deal with within my own family.

January, the current month here in Gran Canaria, is a very pleasant contrast to those weather descriptive of the UK. If someone here says ‘it’s quite cold’ they don’t mean its ‘cold’ because the concept doesn’t really exist here. Cold here may mean the need to wear a light jacket and would seldom apply during daylight hours except in the north of the island. Were someone to suggest it may snow here, one could reasonably expect to be aloft one of the mountains. Relatively speaking, right now, with a temperature of 27C it could be described as chilly by the locals as summertime temperatures rise to over 30 and sometimes 40. However, with the weather stats in the UK showing a maximum today of 4C with the possibility of snow, here is ‘very’ hot.

To further describe the resort here one need only listen to the midday conversation around the pool. The couple next to me are describing how they parted company last night around 11 and went off in different directions in search of sex. One of these described in great detail visits to bars with names such as ‘The Cellar’, ‘Cruise’ and ‘Construction’. He proudly boasted how he’d “Had more men then drinks and I can’t remember how many drinks I had”. That really sums up the nature of many men to this place. They are here to have a good time and that is measured in the amount of condoms they get through, or worse still, just by the amount of men. They ask someone that is not here for sex what they did last night and seem genuinely uninterested to hear about the lovely meal, the hilarious chats and bubbly personalities. It’s as though if a guy has not fucked his way through his holiday that he has not had a holiday, he just as well of gone to Eastbourne where, no doubt, these guys would still go in search of as many shags as were available regardless of whether or not there was a pulse attached to the body.

Many here this time of year are of a more mature type, the retired and infirm. It can be argued that it is possibly cheaper to move somewhere like here rather than pay for the exorbitant fuel prices of the UK. This would be as dull as ditchwater for me as I need to have some life around me, I need to be surrounded by the young and young at heart and there is not a lot of that here in January.

Gran Canaria can be a fun place to visit but it helps to have limited vision at times, deaf ears and a liking for the tacky and sometimes ridiculous. This is the wrong place for history and culture.

The Last GC Blog

Not much to say ... it's been great but looking forward to being with the people I love now though not the crap UK weather ... if only I could bottle this and take it home with me!

My week has been excellent, I have enjoyed every day even with the cold which has all but gone now, it would have of course.

Not sure if I am any more brown than when I left but for sure, even if I am, it'll go soon enough when I freeze my bollox off back home!

Time for a brandy and coke I think and then possibly do some packing and then maybe some dinner.

Must remember to leave my thermals out for the morrow!

The Weekend

Didn't get up today until after 12, had a really enjoyable lay in.

Sun is hot, well, it always is of course but I meant, more specifically, it feels hot here. No clouds anywhere.

Went for a walk across the dunes earlier, it's great at keeping me fit, well, I tell myself this when my joints are killing me and I just want to sit down!

Had my first sangria last night, probably my last too. It was nice but more than one and I could wake with such a headache and so far, I have avoided that.

Been talking loads to the guys around me, it's good to be able to chat to different people

Only one person has been in the pool as the water is freezing, the jacuzzi is warm but apparently getting out is not so nice.

Have read all my book by Nigel Hawthorne and it was excellent, probably the best I have read and so poignant too. Some very familiar moments in there about his sexuality and his feelings about it and how incomplete he felt without a partner thankfully finding a lovely one to spend the remainder of his life with.

Have to go now, I have a drink with my name on it back on my patio

laterz

Poor Pod

Sadly earlier on today the buckle on one side of the pod backpack snapped. It is still useable but not entirely safe anymore and is prone to arm scratching. I may have to switch to my other back pack if I go out for any time later on.

The temp today did manage 22°C but it was still quite windy and that chill was in the air. I was bad earlier and had pie and chips, not exactly very Spanish and for tea I had ham and cheese sanwiches which I made myself but at least they were all local sourced so I can attempt a claim at eating local produce!

Its just past midnight at the Los Almendros and the place is dead, not a soul about, they are probably all off clubbing at the Yumbo, I am very much thinking of bed.

Jim and I did the Yumbo earlier, he wanted to buy some towels for home and a new memory card for his camera, how exciting is that! To top it all we went in Spar and bought some groceries. Came back to the apartments, I did my sandwiches and he transferred todays pictures he had taken on to the laptop for safe keeping. We spoke for a while about his lot at home then he went back to his apartment for sleep around 10.40 I guess.

So, off to bed it is for me and I don't mind that in the least, probably doing me the world of good and I am also drinking loads of fruit juice too so hopefully this cold should clear just in time for the flight home. We get picked up from here around 2 or 3 pm on Monday I think it is ... will check more on Sunday.

Not so warm

The weather until now has been really nice, 23°C each day, a little chilly at night but only comparitively to the day time, still lovely by UK standards. Today though is windy with a distinct chill in the air which makes it feel no more than around 18°C though I suspect our signs will have it at around 21°C. Whatever the actual temperature is, it is not sunbathing weather!

Visited Pub Nestor for the first time last night. Chris was there but not Gary nor Alan from last year, no idea where they have gone, they could just be off this week I guess.

I have packed my pod (backpack) and am off for a walk. I have not eaten yet, I keep coughing which is taking my mind away from food but should I come across somewhere serving OK looking grub I shall nip in and have some.

I spoke to Ray the Respect rep and he says it's fine for the girls to pop over here and say hi whenever they like in July as Respect is now officially straight friendly! It will be quite fun to see the reactions of the various queens around the pool to them appearing but two fingers to them I say and if that doesn't work I shall slap them with their own handbag!

Now, which direction to go in?

Thursday already

Not done a lot today, in fact, just did what I planned to do. I awoke after a horrible nightmare that John had left me at around 9.30, I saved myself a padded sunbed then went over the road and bought some croissants which I decided would taste good with cheese and honey ... I have no idea where that combination came from but I was right, either it was a good mix or this cold has totally screwed my taste buds!

I sat down on my lounger by 10.00 reading The autobiography of Nigel Hawthorne and it must be well good because I didn't really move again until after 3pm when I considered lunch may be a good idea. That was just a soup with a roll, was OK but hardly anything to write home about ... except I just did.

The weather changed by the time I went outside again and it wasn't sunny any more but overcast and a little chilly so, feeling tired I went back to bed where I awoke again around 6 'ish to another nightmare, this time the kids were all taken away from me ... I figure my brain is telling me I am homesick though I am trying to overlook it as the concept is a little too upsetting.

Just been to the Yumbo and came straight back again as I didn't fancy going there in the first place, it was just somewhere to go walking to keep me active and try to flush out the virus. I should grab some food but am not really hungry at all ... the rum and raisin back at the apartment seems tempting though.

I think I may have got a bit of a tan today, but then, I may just need a shower!

Is anyone reading this I wonder?

Hope Daisy is OK, heard she got hit by a stone at school yesterday.

Well, that's me, may see Jim later for another chat, I hope so else I may just go back to sleep and yet, I don't feel tired, just knackered!

I'd use some smilies but I can't find them on this flippin' keyboard, they are not where they normally are and the marking on the keyboard are all wrong too, hey ho!

Good job the bed is comfy ...

Cos I have spent a lot of time there today!

After knackering myself out yesterday I was aching anyway, add to that this cold is really tiring me out as well and I decided that bed was a good option for today.

I got up at 11 and went down to the Yumbo for breakfast, that wasn't my plan but the cleaners were around and I wasn't going to be relaxing for some time around the apartment so going out was my only option ... the blister on my foot is playing up so wearing my sandals again was probably not my greatest idea!

Got back here at the Almendros at some time not long after midday and after having some fruit juice and a cup of tea I went back to bed where I stayed until a little after 5. This may seem like a waste of a holiday but it was nice not to have to feel guilty sleeping during the day like I do at home, here they have siesta so I was simply getting in the spirit of things. Getting up and having my coke, eating my rum and raisin fudge and reading the autobiography of Nigel Hawthorne in the glorious afternoon sunshine as wonderful.

This evening I went to 'Silos' and they made a huge fuss of me with all the other customers wondering who this celebrity was that had just walked in! I had a great salad starter and followed this by salmon in white wine sauce. The service, as always, was excellent, my glass was never allowed to be empty and when I asked for the bill I was given it and, bless them, a couple of tunes because they'd obviously noticed my cold.

Coming away this time, and probably because it wasn't my idea that horrible son of mine forced me the bitch ... has taught me how much I value my family and yes, of course that includes John. They are all so talented in their own way, Matt with his drawing and music, Daisy because she is just such a people person and so naturally popular though the silly thing ruins that at time because she doesn't realise it and is so keen to impress she actually makes herself look stupid ... she is, in effect, trying to convert the converted who already think she's cool and really don't need her to do anything to prove it. Zoey is just so terribly loving, true, she can be a moo when it is 'that time of the month' but most of the time she is wonderful, does excellent work in her pictures and Dad was really impressed recently with her adding up when she worked out that she needed 8 slices of bread to do sandwiches for 4 people, excellent and I was really proud of that. With Jermaine, I would have my arms removed if it would make him healthy and normal, it's just so unfair on him and also on Matt who misses that relationship he needs with an older brother and I am sure they would have been so excellent together, the best of friends even though Matt may not have liked the competition in the battle of who was the most attractive, there would also never have been enough mirrors in the house!

Jim is coming back later though there is not a lot I can add to the convo this evening ... hey Jim, I spent the day in bed, wasn't that exciting!

I know already he's been out to the dunes and gone Greek which has put some colour in his cheeks. *ooer*

Tonight we are doing honey rum together and no doubt putting the world to rights ... for the record, no, there is nothing in the slightest bit sexual in this, I love John way too much to even consider anything like that.

Oh, and for the record, Matt is not a horrible son for sending me here, it was what I needed {minus the cold} to enable me to see the woods for the trees.

They have a BBQ here tonight, a friendly get together to enable guests to gel ... no offence guys but I have no plans on gelling with anyone thank you very much!

Oh, and observation, single guys wear back backs or shirts, they do this because there is no one to rub the san tan lotion in! Though this may just be me of course!

xxx

I am totally mad!

As this cold got started the moment I stepped off the plane I decided not to give into it and go for a walk today. Check Google Earth for this one. I walked directly from Almendros to the dunes then walked across the dunes until I was level with the Riu Palace. There are turned south to follow the surf. Walked to Masalomas, Faro 1, giant turd etc then kept going ... follow coast round and look for small harbour, I walked there! Then I walked back to Faro 2 when I finally gave up and got a taxi.

There are no better Transformers here in Ibiza and I have looked in every toyshop I know of. Honey rum is still cheap, Matt should be smiling at this point.

It is possible to walk from Almendros all the way to Maspalomas without a single step but Robin, don't!

I've decided not to get a car, I will leave that to the van in July!

Missing John like mad, can't wait to come back in July and show him around!

Girls, I even miss your moaning but that's not any encouragment to argue when I get back!

I plan to do nothing tomorrow by the way but will try to think of something to write!

Love you

xx

It's sunny

... and I am using a weird Spanish keyboard!

Got here safely and the good news is that it is lovely weather. It's not actually hot as such but comfortable.

Met Jim Darby at Gatwick and we are both staying at the same place though not seen a lot of him which is probably for the best as I was already finding myself moving plans of mine to accommodate and that's totally not the point!

I am staying in the room next to the one I had last time, it's OK though I may need to whack the air conditioning up a little more as it's still a little too warm for my liking.

I am sure missing all at home ... being away is great as it gives me time to think and I am already certain that being with John is so totally the right thing, I love him loads and nights without him here are difficult.

Hopefully Matt doesn't get any feelings that I shall love him more for paying for this because that's just not possible, I love him, Jermaine and the girls as much as it's possible to love anyone so I can't do any more. I think sometimes they forget that my only motive for moaning and pushing a lot is because I love them and want them to grow up well and be happy ... Matt, you so better be starting that movie! Zoey, share stuff, it won't hurt and maybe everyone will get on a little better if you do because we are all meant to love each other you know and people that love each other want to make the others happy, that's how it works. Daisy, help Matt, don't do any winding up, don't be lazy and don't screw things up elsewhere to make life difficult at home and make John and Matt's life any more difficult!

Robin ... eat already!

Oh, thanks for bringing me here and for letting me know you got home safe.

Deej, seems I have loads of pictures of you on my phone and the laptop which is great cos I am missing you loads.

Do I do 103 or do I have another G&T this is the question?

Daily events will be more detailed in the travelog which will be done whilst I am here and published when I get home.

xxx

Am I 'eck as like

Nervous that is!

Just relaxed and looking forward to fun day tomorrow seeing David & Greg in Clapham and then on to Horley for the hotel break, a good night's sleep then off to Gran Canaria Monday morning.

Daisy has been arguing that she wants to wear trainers for school and apparently her year head said it was OK. I read school policy and it clearly states 'no trainers' so let us not go down that route! I also got a letter from her school today regarding her attendance and it's not good, 87% of the year she's been there and the rest is unaccounted for. Of course, without telling me what dates she is meant not to have been there I cannot challenge the validity of the claim by pointing out some were approved dentist or doctor appointments which have all been made to cause as little disruption as possible. I am seriously considering moving her to another school anyway as I feel her social network and need to perform for those mates is holding her back.

Deej is being extra clingy, I think he's scared I am not going to come back or that I shall dump him when I do, that's just plain silly.

This is going to be my way of getting info back whilst I am away so if you want to know, look back. I shall not be answering any text messages or phone calls.

Here we are again

It' 01:30 as I write this and yet another evening when I cannot drop of to sleep.

Took pain killers ages ago but they made no difference at all. Partly I think I have some sort of stomach problem as I am full of wind, this must be pressing on some nerves because it feels like growing pains and I sure can't see that happening now!

Have not really done a lot today. Bought some books which was cool though failed to get some I did want as well. Wangled a discount in WH Smith because the book looked a little tatty.

Got a horrible feeling I am coming down with something, not good so soon to a holiday but I am trying to ignore it as best I can.

I really got nothing to say, nothing amazing or terrible is happening right now ... life goes on ... where have I heard that before?

Flippin' 'eck

Good news is that I am going to Gran Canaria this Monday. Add to that I had my hair done today and it looks quite cool.

On the negative side ... Daisy thinks she is seeing a guy who has already spread stories around the school that they are shagging. Today I discovered she had bunked off school so I found her and took her back. Thankfully I don't have to get to this lad to knock the shite out of him because there appears to already be a queue from amongst Daisy's friends. The really stupid thing is, she has a guy that really cares about her and she cares about him too but she's doing the gay thing, always looking for that perfect 10 the silly moo.

Anyway, she's grounded again though I have added a provision that she can still see Dan, he's the right guy and I trust him, she can't see anyone else from her social network or talk to them for the next two weeks.

Sort of nervously excited

We had a family conference earlier because the kids, Matt and Daisy were bothering me big time.

It didn't seem to go to well, no one really seemed interested at all ... agreeing more to shut me up than anything else.

Afterwards Matt gave me the laptop of his to look at and on it was some holiday ideas. Not for the family or for him but for me. It seems he wants to buy me a holiday for a week very soon to help me recharge my batteries and start the year off right ... bless him.

I am nervous because Matt is not the world's best at following through so I don't really know if I can start relaxing and looking forward to something or whether I should be practising for the speech saying it was a wonderful idea, may be next year.

Amongst the thoughts to cross my mind was this movie of his. He wants me to play one of the important roles but he is on such a tight schedule I cannot see as me not being here is going to do anything except screw things up. I did think of an alternate but it relies on Matt doing some heavy persuading.

I thought that instead of Richard playing the manager that he could play the piano teacher and the alternate love in the life of the main guy whilst the vacated managers role could be taken on by Robin, it is really such a small part anyway so well within Robin's capabilities even if he is feeling rough.

Speaking of Robin ... he's doing very well with his eating, very pleased with him I am and he says he's taking his medication on time too. If he continues he'll have a good long spell of happiness this time. A few ripples maybe but then, we all get that so he shouldn't see every bad moment as the start of something big, it's just the normal ups and downs of life and he'll bounce back from that the same as I do and many others do.

Hey, we have crap weather here right now ... it would be good to go somewhere with a mild climate even if it rains. If I go somewhere it will be a case of out of contact for a week, I need everyone back home to know that I am safe but chillin' and as much as I love them, this would be most selfishly me time. I have books to read, maybe some writing to do and I plan on getting a little more fit than I am right now too.

Let's see what happens ... and, now that's written, any chance my head will let me sleep I wonder?

So, this is 2007 ... Hmmm, not noticing anything obviously better

Christmas was cool and I don't mean the weather but in a good way rather than a cool atmosphere so I guess that was good ... what I got was good, what I have given was better.

A couple of days before New Years Eve Matt has Jonny over and the pair of them got very drunk. I mean, not just merry but way past that. Jonny did the sensible thing and passed out but Matt pushed the issue really upsetting Daisy and being totally abusive to me. I told him that if this is how well he controls his alcohol intake there is no way he's having friends over for NYE.

That led to another argument with him telling me to butt out as it had nothing to do with me and how I wasn't meant to be here anyway what with it being his party. He went on to say how stupid I was being, how much of an arsehole I am and eventually stormed out the house.

Anyway, with his promises of good behaviour and being in control I let him have his party. By midnight he was just about already gone. There were kids playing on the xbox and taking control of the music (loud music) which was generally crap stuff. Kids were puking and he wasn't around to sort them out. Chavs were trying to fight their way in and only a lucky fluke stopped them along with some threatening poses from a couple of the guests here. In short, Matt was a disgrace and continued by puking in the garden, collapsing on the landing floor upstairs, telling a few of us trying to help him to 'fuck off' and then carrying on drinking near on all night, playing his guitar just before 5am and eventually stopping drinking and going to bed some time on the afternoon of the 1st. I was not a happy bunny and he has ruined his chances of having any further party here.

Our final remaining DVD player died on 1st too so I just thought ... what the fuck and bought some new ones in the hope we may have some better luck with them ... it's not like I can really afford them but I am of a mind now where I just don't give a shit anymore.

I wanna try and have some quality time with John over the next few days, it just always seems to be about the kids and it isn't good for either of us so when they go back to school on Thursday, we can relax and enjoy each others company some more than we have been ... except that Matt won't be back at college and is bound to do or say something to piss me off and ruin the moment.

I love that boy to bits but he's just being such a pain right now and I suspect not least because he's screwing up big time at Uni and has not yet got around to accepting responsibility for it and is, instead, preferring to settle his brow firmly in the sand.

Robin is out of the nut house at last ... just as long as he's well behaved and keeps eating three meals a day that is.

Oh, I feel like shit by the way ... and speaking of which, I am sick of bleeding so easily every time I go, it's really getting me down now and though I am sure it's no more serious that a regular nose bleed, it's all the same, really annoying and not to forget, sore!

Robin took me and John out earlier to the carvery and we ate way too much. This is part of the reason for me feeling so shit right now as well. Bloated tummy and the need to empty out now and then which means even more pain.

I've been achy too so am up right now waiting for the meds to kick in good and proper. I am really tired but couldn't settle, that and I also need to have the room cooler so am waiting for the air to circulate.

This blog is boring the pants off me now so I'm gonna stop.