Why so negative?

Yes, good question, why didn’t I think of that? Oh, I did, silly me.

The trouble with this blog is that I tend to only write stuff that is bothering me or that had some sort of emotional impact on me so what ends up here can make it seem like I am a miserable old git hopelessly seeking thing I can’t get and chronically depressed.

As it happens, that isn’t the case and partly because of this blog.

As I wrote yesterday, if I write something down it does something to my thought processes and either I stop worrying about it or I just somehow feel better able to deal with it, it wouldn’t work if I didn’t know someone was reading though, that would be pointless and I just as well write notepad files!

On the whole I am quite happy with my life. I have a lot of good memories and a lot to look forward to. I am quite sensible, I know shit happens so there is no point dwelling on that too much, deal with it and get on with the good stuff.

Compared to some I am very lucky. I have loads of friends, some care a lot for me, some love me and I feel the same about them. I have the kids and, unless things go horribly wrong, I always shall have. My cats are lovely, couldn’t ask for better fur balls than them. This is a lovely house, it needs decorating but it’s lovely. My car is quite cool. Not as flashy as the last one, lacking in gadgets but it was as good as I could afford. I have had some amazing holidays and I plan to have more amazing holidays with amazing people.

On the whole dear you, I am fine, smiling as I write this and hoping you are too.

News of the day … car cleared the MOT no problem but I put some new tyres on anyway as the old ones were near illegal and slipping, worth the £290 I thought.

I am annoyed about Robin’s insurance company. They say they can’t get an assessor to him before Tuesday and he can’t have a loan car until then. That’s just total crap, he should get the loan car from the day he reported his car as off the road the fiddling sods.

Oh, I meant to say ... about being gay

It's been troubling me for some time ... why it is that it is always assumed that being gay is just about sex?

I love being with men but sex isn't what does it for me. I just feel more comfortable around men. I like hugs and kisses and being tender with a man. I mean, sex can be great but why do guys automatically assume that it has to end in sex?

This pain thing I currently have has got me thinking about it more because I am also thinking what maybe I can't do as easily as I would like, more accurately, what I may like to do to someone else. It bothers me that I could be less of a person because I can't perform as well as I would be happy performing. What upsets me more though is that I may not be able to give pleasure to someone I really care about, yes, you know and the rest can guess. So, if that doesn't happen, well, it's OK by me it doesn't have to. If it does and it somehow turns out to be wonderful, then, well, enough said.

Why write it here?

Because I need to say it out loud or I will burst. Once I write something down it is out of my system, the pressure is lifted, that's why. But, if anyone would rather not be mentioned, I can understand that too, just ask and if I can avoid it, I shall but try to remember, it's my pressure release, don't ask unless it's really important.

What a lovely day … but

I travelled up to Sheffield with Robin today to see Mary and Sue and they are lovely, exactly my sort of nutters. I found it a little awkward having to tell them that I could not promise to go to Florida with them next October; they seemed to be certain I was going along with them. The fact it, there are too many things I just don’t know the answers to. I don’t know when Jermaine will go full time residential, I don’t know if I will be in college, work or at home. I don’t know how this arthritis (if that’s what it is) is going to affect me because it seems to get a little worse daily. I also have no idea how much money I will have to spend on anything as bold as a Florida holiday. I mean, if anyone can find the money it’s me but it’s by no means certain. I don’t know how well my friendship with Martyn will hold up either. He knows how I feel which may have been a mistake on my part so I half expect at any moment he will go into severe freaked out mode and that’ll be that. For my part, I don’t want or need to add any pressure to him, I would rather wait and see what, if anything, happens in the future and if we end up as just very good friends, that’s cool. So, I am thinking, yes, I would like to do Gran Canaria with Martyn in May and also Florida with him in October but ideally a villa of our own, I am not sure Mary and Sue would be overly keen about us skinnydipping in the pool though I am sure we’d get no complaints from Robin!

What I am finding really scary is that I am thinking to myself that, well, I have almost resigned myself to the possible fact that I may well be not long for the world of the fit and healthy. It worries me that I can be thinking that way as it certainly isn’t the way I want my life to go. The worrying aspect of that is that I would not feel right being around healthy people if I became incapable of doing stuff. Why put their life on hold. I know how I feel about the past decade or so of my life. Clearly I love my son but, on the other hand, I find myself wishing I’d had a normal life without all the caring. I am just not sure I want to put anyone else through that, I saw what it did to Nick and I don’t want to do that to anyone. Naturally enough, I don’t want that to happen to me either so I am hoping that whatever it is that is currently wrong with me turns out to be some sort of glitch and not serious. I guess this is just a huge period of uncertainty for me and … not nice.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

We have some heavy snow here and ... some sunshine. Do we get some sort of weird rainbow?

The temperature is currently just above freezing so it is settling but I suspect it will be all but gone by tomorrow if it lasts that long. My only real concern is that the roads are clear enough later to get Jermaine back into respite as I don't have time tomorrow to do it really. I hope too that the roads are clear tomorrow as Robin and I are meant to be headed off north to be socialable.

I am still not really sleeping. I suspect it is the joints causing me grief but when I am aware I am awake at night I also get the feeling that I have been laying there like that for some time, more resting than sleeping and it is not doing me any good. I am having trouble concentrating, simple things like adding up I am having trouble with and it's a little scary. After the holidays I shall go see the doctor again and see if I can't get something to make sure I sleep and see if that makes a difference. I have had to stop the pain killers as I suspect that are affecting my stomach. I keep getting tummy pain and the only contstant on my intake is the pain killers so it has to be them. I will only know by not taking them for a few days.

What I am wondering is if the doctors are open today? If not I am in trouble as I places a repeat prescription in there for Jermaine last week and he does need to have that taken with him to respite. As long as they have it they can get the medication so it doesn't really matter whether or not there is a pharmacy open.

Now, should I walk there, this is the question? I am a little nervous, no pain killers means that excersise will hurt more but then, the car sliding off into a bus will hurt even more so I guess I answered my own question!

So, that was Christmas

Yep, Christmas 2005 is over, that'll be 42 Christmas's I have had so far. Next week we have a week of nothingness, that period when nothing really happens because most of the country is either off work or doing sod all because their manager is off in the Bahamas. All I really have to do this week coming is to get Jermaine back into respite. I may also decide to remember which day my car is due for it's MOT which is 'Thursday' and not 'Tuesday' as I keep thinking it is.

We didn't do Christmas presents because Jermaine really cannot handle Christmas and he proved as much over dinner when he came down with Temi and Johnson to join us. He did eventually calm down and fortunately, he was not aiming at us lot so it was more observational than intrusive.

I rose the Johnson's challenge of providing enough food, he was quite stuffed by the end of the meal and Temi was not shy in coming forward with the food portions. I am quite glad that Jermaine proved my point about him and Christmas them as I think they had their doubts and probably assumed I was just being mean.

Me and the kids watched The Brothers Grimm after dinner, that would be after Robin left. I had no idea what to expect of the movie and found it really quite entertaining if a little weird.

Robin called later to say he had enjoyed watching his DVD that we got him from the Moulin Rouge in Paris. I am glad we managed to share a little Christmas spirit with him. I know he doesn't like the festive season but at least I think he had a happy day.

I had said I would call Martyn but, well, I could not quite work out what time his shift at work started so when he was likely to get out of bed. I sent a text and he called me back. It was lovely to speak to another adult today. I don't mean Robin isn't an adult of course, just lovely to talk to 'yet' another adult. The parrot would drive me mad in a fun sort of way, I couldn't help giggling with it in the background during the call. I do hope Martyn is able to just fall into another job some time in 2006, one that he will enjoy with better hours and more money!

I keep thinking I forgot to call or write to someone but there is sod all I can do about it now. should someone be reading this and thinking I am a miserable bugger for not thinking about them, I am ever so sorry. I was actually trying very hard to make this a special day for the kids and that was quite hard work.

Tummy still not right, I am now using the toilet a little too much and it takes some clearing up afterwards. Not quite sure this is the appropriate place to go into more details about 'down there'.

Not sure just how much sleep I shall get tonight but I don't have anything to rush out of bed for tomorrow so I guess I can just catch up tomorrow is possible.

The last movie of the day was 'It's a Wonderful Life'. The kids had not seen it so I thought Christmas day would be an appropriate time. It was and they all loved it, black and white or not! I, of course, was blubbering by the end and at several parts during but I just accept that is going to happen now, it is just an amazingly emptional film. True, it is dated but that is part of it's charm.

Happy Christmas Dear Reader

.. and what a bunch of readers you are too.

I hardly ate anything Christmas Eve, just not very hungry and now I am having trouble sleeping. It would be really good to say that this is because I can't wait to see what Santa has brought me but, well, he's giving me a miss this year.

No, my inability to sleep is two fold. A tummy that is not feeling very clever, loads of smelly farts (strange how we have to do a little smile even just reading the word 'fart') The other reason is sudden depression brought upon by the issue with Matt and the word 'gay' earlier. It may have been brought on by that but that was the last straw I think. So much uncertainty in my life right now is screwing me up. I am also very aware that this is the first Christmas when I am alone, not part of a pair and that is difficult. I am used to having someone, a crutch, someone that is there for me 24/7 if need be and is trying as hard as I am to achieve a happy relationship. Oh well, like I said, Santa isn't coming this year ... of course, that may just be the farting!

That’s is just Gay

I picked Matt up from town earlier on my way back from Pete’s. He was telling me how he had a nice time and everything was fine. Then he mentioned that his friend Becky’s mum had invited this guy over to their place tomorrow because he was alone and her mum is that sort of person. That sounded quite sweet but then, as a passing thing he mentioned that Becky’s dad is homophobic and Becky said that she will have to stop saying ‘That is just gay’ because Simon was there and then Matt went on about other things but my mind was dwelling. So I asked Matt, how comes he didn’t challenged Becky about saying how gay something was. (Gay is said now in the context of something being weird or otherwise not right). He said that what she does in her own home is up to her and, besides, she doesn’t mean it offensively. Well, I took it offensively. It’s not like if she had said ‘That is so nigger’ it would have been OK, he admitted that, but saying ‘gay’ is OK.

Well, to me it isn’t so now I am angry as hell on Christmas Eve and can’t seem to find any way of calming down.

Is it really?

Yes, apparently it is only a few days away from Christmas, fancy that.

Talk about dumb, I thought it may be interesting not to take any medication for 24 hours seeing as I was barely hurting at all. OK, stupid thing to do.

Hmmm … what did I say I was doing today?

Ah yes, the car. Well, they called mid morning to day it would be ready at lunchtime and ‘by the way’ did I remember the £100 excess!

It took a couple of phone calls to get that one sorted with the insurance company that I didn’t owe anyone an excess as I had not actually made a claim and it is fairly traditional for someone to make a claim before they can start talking about excesses. Well, car back, no problem.

I asked Matt last night to get up by 08:15 to make sure that the carers were let in for Jermaine so he got up at 08:00. I got up just after 10:00 and no carers. Turns out that they had it in their tiny minds that as they had been here yesterday at 1pm that they should turn up every day at 1pm like I am going to be picking Jermaine up from respite every flippin’ day! When they turn up I am just finishing off changing Jermaine’s nappy and clothes and she says ‘Oh my, Steve is being a carer now, there is no end to his talents’. I am not one to be thinking of ending a life but I got very close to it this morning. Had it not been for the other carer piping up and mentioning that I had actually done it for nearly 19 years I think I would be writing an entirely different entry.

On the gay dads group that I run I am getting a little fed up with guys saying how Wonderful St Vernal of London is. It’s true, he is a lovely guy and does a lot but how about the guys who really are the ones that do the work? There are four moderators of the group and I bet hardly any of the members know who they are and certainly none of them are showing any thanks for them. Frankly, I find the whole thing very distasteful.

Got to meet Julie over Robin’s, always nice to meet Julie.

Talk About Screaming!

OK, first gripe, I still don’t have my car back and am having to drive around a total pile of Ford Produced Pants. They call it a ‘Ka’, I suspect they spent months and a few million getting someone’s toddler to think that up. So impressed were they by the young mite that they asked him to design it to and then sent it off to Little Tikes to put into production .. grrr

I had a meeting with health this morning … patronising self opinionated bitches the pair of them. They were both so far up their own arses they could see daylight through their teeth.

After doing a load of investigation this afternoon and this evening I discover that they were let off way too light. It would appear that they not only got it wrong with regard to this PoVA issue but they got it ‘very’ wrong and positively abused their positions. I’m not going to bore you with the gory details but suffice to say, they were total bitches (did I mention that) and the best I may possibly get is some sanctimonious apology from their Bitch in Chief but nothing will change!

Autoglass, yes, don’t we just love ‘em?

Well, I finally got to speak to the customer services team in head quarters and they tell me that they acknowledge that maybe some things were dealt with erroneously but perhaps I would consider talking to the branch manager again and have him lie out of his ass to me directly rather than through them. I declined their kind offer and suggested that she possibly stops chewing her gum long enough to reinvestigate with the optional possibility that a man being investigated could potentially be covering his own ass and not being entirely honest. In fact, my words were, the twat lied to me, he was consistent and lied to you, is that it then, do we just accept that and wait see what happens next time or do we do something about. She said she would call me back. (I am not holding my breath)

Social Service, this is Jacqueline Heep O’Shite we are talking about here, managed to water down our grant application from, they need £2000 to pay for the severe damage Jermaine has caused to all the furniture in his room, the carpets in his room, the upstairs hallways and down the stairs, the suite in the lounge and a table that he ruined in the lounge to … (this is good) ‘They want £2000 to buy some furniture for their son’s bedroom’. It’s a classic, y’gotta give it to the cow, when she screws up she does it big time! I have spoken to the man that makes these decisions and he is now putting it back to Jackie Adams to see if she may care to reword it and add some commitment to the application.

I heard from the police today regarding the complaint I forgot I had in with them with regard to the way we were treated in the old house and the way they acted here a month ago. They have completed their investigations and decided, y’all are going to love this too … the previous incidents were too complex so they are not going to deal with those but they do apologise for screwing up this time. Just how grateful am I for that? Yeah, I know, I can barely contain my excitement, I am going to orgasm here just thinking about it.

Jermaine, picked him up today and he smiled some 20 seconds after meeting me then he was miserable again and has remained that way for the rest of the day, it’s good to have him back again … oh dear.

Poor Robin, he came over to give me a lift to go pick Jermaine up but he is poorly, it really is a right crap time for him just now.

Had a nice long chat with Martyn last night. I was dead scared he’d freak and send me a polite email requesting I remove him from my list of contacts but he didn’t which, though this may seem pathetic to you dear reader, to me took a huge weight off my mind.

Now, tomorrow … hopefully I get my car back and then go see Robin and Julie

Jermaine – Has he gone?

Jermaine has been in respite now since December 5th and he comes home tomorrow. The thing is, he can go in again December 27th – January 28th and that may well take us up until not long before he goes full time residential.

I have to admit, we have got used to not having him around, it sort of happened without us noticing. It also shows that when he goes full time, we won’t be visiting very often and that makes me a little sad. It’s probably also a reflection of the dwindling emotional attachment we have toward him. Sure, to the boy he used to be we are very close but who we have now we hardly know and never will do, it is just weird to think of Jermaine as ever having been here. I guess I am allowed to say that.

Still, enough about that …

I got the draft complaint back from the guy that will be dealing with it for us against social services and it doesn’t even start to address the issues. I am going to have to go over it and the original complaint letter we sent him to make sure he includes it all as we want it and not his filtered down version.

Robin has his car back now which I am greatly relieved about. It became obvious that the DWP were going to drag their heels on the matter so I paid for it on my plastic. All I now have to sort out is how on earth Robin is ever going to repay it! I am in no great hurry as the card company won’t ask me to pay it until late January but after that my bank account at the Abbey will be overdrawn and I will need to start paying them interest. It isn’t much and manageable but even so, it’ll be there. Not to worry, it’ll work out and I have no qualms about lending Robin the money.

I updated my Disneyland Paris site today though not sure I needed to bother and my heart wasn’t in it. http://www.disneyparis.org.uk in case you are interested.

It appears on Kagoul that I have been voted by many people as ‘The Most Informative Member’. It’s a nice compliment to pay but, well, sexiest, most fun, craziest would all have felt better. Most Informative makes me sound so boring!

One person said that I am amazing and cope with more than anyone else there could and, maybe he is right but I don’t see it that way. I cope with what I do because I have had to, it didn’t just happen over night, it has taken years to get to where I am now. It is all relative anyway. I am quite certain that when someone says that they feel totally crap because their boyfriend of two weeks didn’t call, they feel just as bad as I do when I have to go to high level meetings about the future of my son and we are all amazing in our own way with what we can cope with.

Get off your horse and drink your milk

I want to start by saying I had a great weekend, I really did for all sorts of reasons.

It was not just the company I was in, and John is lovely, it was also the company I spoke to and met that made it special.

But, back a little … I found out on Friday what I suspected for a while, it seems I do have arthritis and it is more a case of finding out what type than ‘if’. What I know for a fact it is that my joints have been really quite painful even with the pain killers.

On Saturday I got to ride a horse thanks to John. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It may actually be ranking way up there with the scariest thing I have ever done and I can’t even remember what that was!

Why was it scary? Hmm, difficult to answer really. True, Benji was big, s shire cross (picture included) but I had kind of made my mind up that the worst that could happen was me falling off and the worst that could do was kill me so not so terrible (just kidding). No, what was really scaring me was not being in control. It was Martyn that commented to me about my tendency to be a control freak and he did me a real favour because he’s totally right, I am and I hate it. I don’t mean to be, I thick it is my defence mechanism, be in control and no one can hurt me. Well, when it came to control and who had it, Benji won by a short leg or a dog’s bullock or a bee’s kneecap, I don’t really know the right term. There was no way if he decided to do his own thing I was going to be able to stop him. To make matters worse, he had this habit of throwing his head around. Each movement caused me no end of pain in my shoulders, my right hand in particular was very painful within minutes, by the time I got off, it was almost unbearable pain. When we got back to the yard he decided it was feed time and that meant, nose down in a bucket of grub with me leaning backwards unable to reach the reins and then Benji picking a fight with the horse who’s feed it was! I was so relieved to get off that horse it was unreal.

It may seem like I regretted the ride but that isn’t the case, I really am glad I did it. I won’t want to do it again but it was on my list of things to do and it’s done and I know for sure now it is not for me.



One of my friends has issues and was calling John. It’s really very sad because if he could know what us older than him know, he would be really upbeat and looking forward to life but it is so easy when young to not be able to trust what you are told. It is not until he experiences more of life and, more important, more people that he will get to learn that the world is a huge place and there are thousands of guys out there that are just right for us, we just need to find them.

Good to meet Steve again, shame he was feeling rough but hopefully it will clear up quite quickly.

Now, I really must call Robin … Oh, and M, can you text me, let me know you got home OK? Thank you :-)

Catch up time

Finally managed to get my car booked into be repaired for the damage that Autoglass caused, the insurers are paying for that. Autoglass told the insurers they were going to offer me £25 for it but retracted their offer so I need to speak to them again next week.

Did manage to get the refuse department to do a review of our waste needs and we may get a larger wheelie bin. I have also got them to deal seperately with Jermaine's medical waste so that doesn't get added to the normal rubbish.

I tried to get myself booked into the GUM clinic but they don’t have any appointments this year so I have to call them again early next year. I don’t think I have anything wrong with me at all but I just want to get checked out to be sure on the off chance that I either meet Mr Right or that he decides he is and I am, (whatever). Well, I want to be certain I am clear.

My joints are still causing me problems, nothing I can’t cope with and work through but clearly not right but I am seeing the doc tomorrow, hopefully I may know more then but I suspect he is going to do no more than to say something about my age and reluctantly refer me to someone else.

Got my new gadget yesterday, an IPaq HW6515 which is an all in one device of GPS, PDA, camera and phone.

Social Services (the SS) are still causing me grief (when do they not?) It appears that despite this place in Kettering being totally unsuitable they want to proceed with an assessment anyway along with another place run by Mencap in Wellingborough. Both have the same problem, no medical provision but the SS still think they can make the situation workable. In the meantime it means extra delays on the Chalfont which could result in us losing the possible placement there.

Had a meeting this morning, a complaint meeting with an independent investigator to sort out the whole SS issue. It won’t come quickly enough to solve anything for us but just maybe we can resolve the bad practises within the SS team that cause this sort of thing to happen in the first place.

Without going into detail, I am concerned about Robin. He is going through a bad time right now, one of those ‘everything happening at once’ times that we get and it’s really difficult for me to give him advice asking him to hold fire for a while when I know he wants things sorted now. Holding off on some things is all he can do to try and save yet more bother in the future. I cannot promise him that the problems will go away but I am doing the best I can to make it easier for now.

Spoke to Martyn last night, he was unusually on MSN. I had to go to bed at some point to get some sleep else I’d have been no use in this mornings meeting but I would have loved to have stayed up chatting longer, I just love talking to someone that knows me and is intelligent. Robin, you are too honey but in a totally different way.

Right, it’s nearly 2 and I am supposed to be doing some stuff, I know I am even if I can’t remember what it is just yet!

Back Home Again

Got up and had breakfast then called my dad. It turned out they had cocked their dates up and were not expecting us so instead of a lovely Sunday Roast we got sandwiches. We didn’t stay long, my dad was in full moan mode about how I had really, despite all the work I put in with Jermaine, had been scrounging off the state for years and setting a poor example to the kids. He dug into Matt too, some of which I agreed with, that he, and the girls for that matter, should make more effort around the house. I have to be honest, I was glad to be leaving.

Because of the accident in Hemel I had to make a detour home up the M40 instead of the M1 which added quite a bit to the journey and a horrible journey it was too, lots of fog and stupid drivers.

I am really knackered and really in need of some adult company.

Don't get me wrong, I love the kids but they just frustrate me so much, I don't have anyone on the same level as me to talk to over such prolonged periods with the kids.

Time to go Shopping!

Decided to skip breakfast working on the theory that the earlier we left, the earlier we arrived in Calais and the more time we had to do what we wanted to do.

I nipped downstairs into the cold to collect a luggage rack and tried to get it in the lift. Each time a lift arrived a new batch of people barged past me and filled the lift up knowing full well I was waiting and had been there before they arrived. Three times this happened. Another mob took so long to get out of the lift the doors closed before I could get in. On my fifth lift I just headed full speed for it, hit a few people along the way, made my apologies in several languages and headed upstairs!

Eventually got the car loaded up and headed back north at a nominal speed of about 95mph so it didn’t take that long to get there, arrived something close to midday.

Did oodles of shopping and had lunch at the normal eatery in the food court. Felt a little sad as I could picture Tony sitting there too and I still miss him terribly.

We got the 15:35 shuttle back to the UK.

Shortly after arriving at the hotel in Ashford we went to see Chronicles of Narnia. I have to say I was not impressed. It was watchable but not a classic and there is no way I should have built myself up to a rerun of Lord of the Rings. It had some of the special effects but the acting in parts was awful.

Went to check into the hotel and found out I’d cocked up the booking and we were not due at that hotel at all but one 20 miles away (or so). Got there and checked in then had a light supper before bed.

Last Full Day :-(

This is our last full day and we have opted for the room service breakfast. Though we have paid for inclusive breakfast and one of the advantages of staying on the Admiral’s floor and paying extra for it is room service, we still have to pay an additional €10 for the food which is the same as we would get in the main ‘canteen’. I have also opted for the English breakfast which is supposed to be an extra €6.40. Now, the menu mentions this is (room service breakfast) a price per room up to 5 people yet, I suspect, this €6.40 is actually per person. Hell, it would not surprise me if they didn’t charge the whole thing per person! One thing I have become more and more aware of is just how much of a rip off Disney in Paris is especially compared to Florida. Clearly they are cutting costs wherever they can. There are no lit arches as part of the Christmas decorations over Main Street USA. The lights have gone from the Village. The hotel does not provide chocolates on the pillows anymore. The inflatable toys have gone from the pool; several rides are either closed or have restricted opening times. There does seem to be a lot less cast members than ever before too, I could be imagining it but that’s what it looks like.
Breakfast was OK, I was right, that was €6.40 each not per room. This theory of the Admiral’s floor having room service, WiFi etc is all well and good but it reminds me of the joke of the hotel that charges for use of the Rolls Royce, the waiter, the laundry etc and when the guest claims they didn’t use any of that, they are told “But it was there is you wanted it sir”. This is, of course, different because whilst we have paid extra for the facilities of WiFi, Room Service etc, we can’t actually access them unless we pay extra so, unless these things are a vital requirement, what is the point in paying twice for them? I mean, it is not as though they ask a notional fee, the fee for staying on the Admirals floor (there are 4 of them by the way) is something over £200 so that just gets permission to pay extra for additional services? Yeah, this is another Disney rip-off.

Time to head off to the parks and, this time, no cameras as I am travelling light! OK, I lied about no cameras as I did take the still camera!

It has been a good day, none of the kids really unhappy, a few gripes but not as many as I would expect. I am certainly missing adult company, that of a very few select people as it happens … still, bought some gifts for those people today which doesn’t make me feel any better but at least they will know I was thinking about them.

Had dinner at the Blue Lagoon in the Disneyland Park, a very enjoyable couple of hours, not a cheap meal at €115 but I guess I shall not be doing that sort of thing too often!

Matt and Daisy did some ice skating earlier and seemed to enjoy it, Zoey and I didn’t, me because I am scared for my legs and Zoey as she just can’t skate!

All packed up and ready to go. (Ipod started working again)

Paris Here We Come!

On Thursday we got up late … I would have tried to sleep all day I think as I got hardly any during the night. The kids reckon I have sleep apnoea from the sound of my snoring so perhaps I’d best sort that out but worse than that was the agony I was getting from my right knee, any pressure at all and it was like having it twisted off my leg, no way could I sleep through it. This sharing a bed with Daisy thing is not so clever either, never have I known someone move about so much in bed! At one point, no word of a lie, she was on top of me then kicked me in the privates!

Breakfast was a fiasco; they didn’t quite sort out what they were doing in the hotel so when we got down there around 10:30 we had to go to the conference room which felt as though it had been converted to breakfast on the quick. There was no refrigeration for the fresh meats, they could not supply bowls quick enough, all in all, a mess. To make matters worse, they were clearing up before guests had finished eating. I am sure, just a few minutes more and there would have been the vacuum cleaner over the floor too.

Paris was just fine, just where I had left it. We did the galleries to death, had a quick peak at the Eiffel Tower, walked to the Moulin Rouge and then got totally lost heading for the Champs Elysee where we just went in the Virgin Megastore for some reason. Got some pictures of the Arc de Triomphe then hopped on the double Decker train back the Disney.

As a little sub note, at some point my ipod died, these really are such incredibly good inventions with such an amazingly poor reliability record! Hopefully I will be able to get a replacement.

The First Full Day

Breakfast next day and there was a shock when we discovered that Admiral’s floor guests only get to use a separate breakfast room at the discretion of the management and they were not so generous on this occasion so we had to queue along with many others to have what I can but describe as a very basic meal served by indifferent staff.

Today was our day to be doing photographs and movies which we did quite well albeit we did cancel a planned trip back into the Disneyland Park for some night time movie making. Matt spent some time winding Daisy up and she, in turn, wound him up. None of the kids were wearing warm enough clothing but it’s not like they have to listen to me.

Didn’t really do that many rides today, was not really in the mood. We made a point of watching the Lion King at Videopolis which was totally excellent.

The highlight of the day was the ride we had in the balloon high above the lake which afforded us an amazing view of the entire area, I mean, truly amazing, breath taken, just about as many ‘wows’ as it is possibly to attribute to one experience.

Our evening meal was at Planet Hollywood which I viewed with some trepidation but it was unfounded. They have redeemed themselves some way with this evenings experience with them. Not enough that I shall believe they are over their terrible service, high prices theory but who knows, maybe they have?

Whizzing down to Disneyland

We got up early on the Tuesday and headed for The Channel Tunnel but arrived really early which, on the plus side, meant that we left an hour earlier than we were booked giving us more time for the rest of the day. It was around 10:00 when we arrived in France. It was clear roads all the way and we made extremely good time, we were at the hotel not much off midday.

The first room I was not at all happy with. Whilst it matched what we had booked it was not what I was expected. It was the 6th floor, the 6th floor is a smoking OK floor so first downer. The second problem was that it had an adjoining door to the next room, a historical not going to go there! Add to that the view was terrible. Sure it was a lake view but that was about all we could see. As I do I went to the reception and asked for a replacement, then switched my request to an upgrade explaining how special the holiday was to us. They didn’t have anything at that time but told us to come back later. This gave us time to dump the luggage and then head to the parks getting a few rides in and something to eat before heading back to the hotel.

When we checked back they had given us an upgrade to the 8th floor right in the middle with a balcony and a much bigger room too so we were happy bunnies. I think I annoyed the kids a little by complaining but I think they were also happy with the outcome.

Heading South

Thanks to the loyalty points from Tesco, my store of choice, I managed to book a 5 day break in Disney Resort Paris for just £2.00, the actual cost was nearly £1400 so quite a considerable saving. Being shrewd (read tight), I also managed to get some cheap hotels either side of the holiday in the UK for just £26.00 for the 4 of us which spreads my driving out considerably.

I visited my dad in Kent on the Monday, I do wish his humour didn’t include ridicule, it is so annoying.

The level of pain I am getting in my shoulder and my legs is getting far worse, getting up and down and stairs are becoming really difficult.

Website Updates

I have decided that http://www.wotalife.co.uk/ needed a new look and some update content, particuarly with regard to my friends

 

Apart from doing that which took an age, I have not really done much else today which just has to be good ... well, good except that I need to get some packing done!

Friday Update

Now, what did I do Friday? Let me see ...

 

The morning was quite relaxed (apart from the washing and having to get up to see to Jermaine's insulin, make sure Zoey went off to school etc) Matt and Daisy slept in for quite a while which was OK, enabled me to get things sorted that needed doing.

 

In the afternoon we went up to Kettering as Jermaine had to go for his pre op assessment. As I predicted, Jermaine actually didn't need to be there at all, rather pointless collecting him. It was just a question an answer session with the surgical team. He should get his teeth sorted next month but they are already saying that may be cancelled and put to another day, let's just hope they don't do it on the day else that would make it very difficult.

 

Evening time and we went to 'Puss in Boots' in Eydon, directed by Robin (wonderfully of course). I really got it into it, first time I have ever really enjoyed a panto to be honest. I think knowing the cast helped that as I was also terribly proud of what they had achieved. True, there was some awful casting but then, when so many put their names forward for parts there is inevitably going to be a casting issue. That aside, it was excellent and most amusing, well done them.

 

After we retired to the pub for nibbles that exceeded my expectations. It was also great to meet up with the luvvies too, I am really getting to enjoy their company and think I shall miss them now that Robin has finished doing his thing over that way, maybe next year?

 

I sometimes wonder, when I write this 'ere blog, who is reading it? I do know that Robin will, so will Nick and so will Martyn so hi guys! I don't know who else so if you read it and want to say hi, do let me know ... contacting me is easy, just write steve@ and finish the rest with the dizzyqueen.net domain, that will get to me. I can also add you to the blog notification service so you don't have to visit, each new entry would be sent to you!

 

Martyn, thanks for all the really nice things you have written about me and said about me recently, I am always going on about you one way or another and it is all positive!

 

Getting quite excited about my trip to Disneyland Paris, a little sad no adult company will be with me but I am sure we will have a good time all the same.

 

Plans for Saturday ... erm, not a lot. We do need to go out as Zoey has not got enough socks, that or the carers have managed to put all those missing items from our wardrobes into Jermaine's, he seems to have more clothes now than we do! Later we are going to watch the DVD of Fantastic Four or maybe go to the cinema to see the Brothers Grimm, quite a nice day really.

Meetings and then some

Went to an update meeting at social services earlier. Most sent their apologies, they had better things to do.

 

As usual it lasted way too long but there was a lot to cover and mind sets to change.

 

I am still not happy that this POVA thing still seems to have me down as the criminal whereas the ones that really failed on Black Friday were social services and it should be them that have to justify themselves and not me. I did manage to get that in the minutes which will be submitted as part of the POVA.

 

Succeeded in getting J Heep to pass most of the work onto Steve Mills seeing as he actually works for social services full time so may get things sorted. Several things had not been actioned since the last meeting, this is not a great shock. J Adams wanted to say that the problems which caused the POVA in the first place were now resolved but I had to point out that they are only partially resolved and even though carers come in, I cannot automatically call upon them to take over should I be ill.

 

Took some time to persuade the Jackie's (only ones to turn up) that they needed to get a statement from health to clarify whether or not signing a residential care home worker as competent to give insulin was something which was voluntary. If it is then such a situation is not sustainable. That means, they can stop looking at care homes that don't have medical provision.

 

I have personally been very successful in what I had planned to do today and got exactly what I needed from the home in Chalfont St Peter. Also sent off to the Northants consultant and he will write to social services too.

 

My radio interview with Northants 96 went wonderfully, perfect timing in fact what with the meeting this morning.